The boy that you loved is the man that you fear

What have I become? As a teen, I spent some good times sitting in the mall watching fake people go in and out of The Bon Marché. Yesterday, after picking up my suit from Men's Wearhouse (which fits fabulously, by the way), I stepped into Macy's and became a customer. Not because I'm fake and not because I have money to burn (those people were across the street at Banana Republic), but because it's time for me to start dressing better than Ross or Target. I spent more than an hour looking at pants and shirts. I probably tried on five pairs of pants. Any woman would have been proud of me. In that time, I learned a few things:

1. a medium shirt isn't always a medium shirt
   
2. cheaper pants only fit well until you've tried on an expensive, well-made pair
   
3. expensive black pants are blacker than cheaper black pants
   

What I ended up with is a handsome pair of black pinstriped slacks and a black dress shirt. I did try other colors, but only ended up with black. Gotta pace myself right now. I'll go for other colors another time.

I went to Dante's last night. Got to try on my new slacks. They may be the best fitting pants I've ever owned. I got there early enough to get a seat front and center. It turns out that Dante's doesn't serve Laphroaig, so I finally got to try Makers Mark. Who could resist with such a cute bottle? I didn't get to tour their distillery while I was in Kentucky, so I've been looking forward to comparing with Woodford Reserve. It turns out Maker's Mark matches it's bottle design. It's sweeter than Woodford Reserve and more popular with the younger folk. I prefer Woodford, but would order Maker's Mark again - Wild Turkey is next.

Anyway, I enjoyed the show. Didn't meet anyone, but that's fine. I don't go out Sunday's to meet people. I must have been in a good mood after the show, because as I was walking back to my car, I found that I gave hobos as much money as I had tipped the Dante's staff that evening. Maybe something's wrong with that. I don't mind giving street people money occasionally, but the ladies at Dante's deserve the monies more. FYI: my total handouts so far this calendar year are $2.82 to four people. And they weren't hobos as much as just people in need of a couple bucks. The 82 cents I gave to a couple people who were picking up cans because they had ran out of gas. I watched them go across the street and fill up a gas can after my charitable contribution. I don't care what the others do with the singles I gave them. They could get some food or their next high. All I know is they're not getting rich standing on the sidewalk asking for help and no one deserves to be outside on the sidewalk at 2am unless they choose. Note to mom: I know you're freaking out about the "hobos" right now. Don't worry. I use that word jokingly. I'm not talking about old men who haven't shaved in years and are pushing around shopping carts.

Here's what I've got scheduled for the coming week:

1. Another Cynthia, May 2
   
2. Gooferman, May 3
   
3. Gooferman, May 4
   
4. Linda Strawberry, May 5.
   

All leading up to NoFX May 11. By the way, Mom...I just realized last night that Mother's Day is May 11. I'll be around the next day and maybe let you hug me. That, or make me a Big Mex Chicken Burrito. I haven't decided.